"Sexy Swamp Lady"
 
Maybe you've heard of Sexy Swamp Ladies living isolated way down natures long lane, where it gives a traveler a sense of excited expectation of what awaits at the end, so if you care to venture down that scenic steamy road, you might find me, Jan Browne, the Sexy Swamp Lady. Find that road and take it!!!!
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Hot, Hot, Hot!!!
Aug 21, 2014 8:29 pm
110 Views

A horrible day to deal with, temp heat index over 105.

A bad day for those of us with breathing issues.
Thank heavens for a grandson who dropped by just in the nick of time to help with groceries and pkgs from the car into the house.
What a blessing he is to have him close by for such chores.
Am surely blessed by his help.

Everybody have a great weekend and keep out of this horrible heat, if like we have here in SE North Carolina.

2 Comments , 2 Pending
Another Phyllis Diller quip
Aug 19, 2014 1:46 am
419 Views

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Phyllis Diller

2 Comments
100 lbs of Dynamite
Aug 18, 2014 8:50 am
485 Views

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!'

He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs of dynamite, Baby.'

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have!"

Again the body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs of dynamite, Baby.'

He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!'

6 Comments
Remember Phyllis Diller?
Aug 17, 2014 9:04 am
567 Views

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room!!!
Phyllis Diller

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller.

WASN'T SHE A HOOT???
6 Comments
Wisdom of an Older Man!
Aug 15, 2014 7:35 am
764 Views

There is a lot of truth to this one.....?????

An older man approached an attractive younger woman (with
about a 42DDD set of twins on her chest) at the shopping mall.

"Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes (or longer while I goggle)????

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said,
"Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?"

"I have no idea, but every time I stop to talk to a woman with tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere. She'll be here shortly I bet, but wish she'd get lost a bit longer."

8 Comments
Sex of a Fly????
Aug 14, 2014 4:01 am
862 Views

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband standing around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies" he responded.

"Oh! Killing any?" she asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females" he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart."

He replied: "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

10 Comments
Urology Surgery X
Aug 13, 2014 5:44 am
950 Views

(Buddy wrote this about his problem)

When I first realized that my penis was growing larger, and staying erect longer, I was delighted, as was my wife.

But...After several weeks, my penis had grown fifty centimeters.
I became quite concerned, I was having problems dressing, and even walking, as it was starting to drag on the ground.

So the wife and I went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the doctor explained to us that,
though rare, my condition (Donkey Doodle) could e fixed through corrective surgery.

"How long will he be on crutches?" my wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.

"Well," said my wife coldly, "You're gonna lengthen his legs
aren't you?"

6 Comments
Mother's Milk
Aug 12, 2014 11:04 am
1055 Views

Students in an advanced Biology Class were taking their mid term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'. The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages, however, he wrote:

1. It is perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
6. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7. It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough
off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A !!!

10 Comments
THE SPOON - Consultants Caused It To Be Put There
Jul 30, 2014 1:11 pm
2397 Views

For all who frequent restaurants and need faster service, usually, this is a timeless lesson on how Consultants make a difference to an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes. The company concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil...3 spoons per table per hour. If better prepared, 15 man-hours per shift can be eliminated from trips back to the kitchen.

You WOULD know I dropped my spoon and his spare from his pocket replaced it immediately. Waiter said he would get another for his pocket next trip to kitchen.

I was impressed; also noticed that he and all the other waiters had a string hanging out of the fly on their pants. Could not resist, so asked about the string, what is it for?

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice and got closer to my ear,
;Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm told us they found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

Curious, I asked 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

(BET YOU ALL WILL CHUCKLE A BIT every time you are in a restaurant and someone drops a spoon or other utensil.)

6 Comments
This August 2014 - a Phenomenon in Your Life !!!
Jul 30, 2014 12:50 pm
2273 Views

2014 August Calendar -

This will be the only time in my and your life to experience this
phenomenon.

In August, 2014, we will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens only once every 823 years. The Chinese call It Silver Pockets Full..... SO pass this message on to your friends and in four days, money will surprise you. Based on Chinese Feng Shui. Whoever does not pass this message along...MAY find themselves poorer.

I OBEYED....(you never know). Nothing ventured, nothing gained in such matters.

(Good Luck Everyone) Just remember you will not live long enough for it to happen again in your lifetime!)

7 Comments
Nice, Nice Nice!!!!
Jul 30, 2014 3:18 am
2573 Views

Can't believe it, temp down my way in SE N.C. has
started out at 63, supposed to be up maybe only too
85.

Maybe I can get out on the deck of the pergola and get
the extensions added to the bottom of the bug netting
around it.

Looking forward to enjoying it more this fall with the bug
netting up to keep 'small critters' from nibbling on me and my food that we will cook under there amongst the palm trees,
ferns and other green plants.

All have a great day!

6 Comments
Americans !!!!
Jul 26, 2014 9:54 am
2953 Views

Americans are not a particular people from yet another particular place. THEY are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirt, everywhere is an American.

This says it all, for all of us.

4 Comments

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